That Little Voice Inside My Head

We all have a little voice inside our head, right?  I mean, it's not just me and the people in the asylum?  The little voice inside my head doesn't tell me to run naked down Main Street babbling about being probed by aliens or anything, so that's a good sign.

Actually, that little voice can be annoying as hell because it's always right......and I'm half dense half the time, and ignore it then suffer the consequences.......hence, annoying.   Ok, maybe I'm more annoyed at my "half dense half the time" self than the little voice but I'm in denial about my thick skull which I'm starting to think is about 4" thick with a little bitty peanut brain inside.

For example:  I use an airbrush , airbrush paint is thin, and comes in plastic bottles with flip top lids with a little hole for the paint. I might have a bottle of paint for a couple of years and apparently plastic can get brittle over time and with cold temperatures.

One day after a long  winter of hibernating, I was trying to  squeeze some paint into my airbrush, but there was a dried up paint plug in the little hole, so nothing was coming out.  Now keep in mind that this has happened countless times before. I knew exactly what the problem was and the potential outcome even without the little voice inside my head saying "Excuse me, Laurie. Please remove the paint plug with your paint plug removing tool.  If you continue to squeeze harder and harder to force it out, the bottle will break and paint will cover everything including your artwork.  Do you really want that to happen?" Always so calm and reasonable, that know-it-all voice.

I reply (in my head, not out loud... I'm not crazy!)  "Aw shuddup you, I don't need no stinkin' paint plug removing tool...".

Within five seconds my super human strength breaks the old brittle bottle, and paint explodes violently everywhere......again.  Only this time it's worse than ever before because this was an extra large bottle that was at least half full.......lots and lots of paint.

I sat frozen in shock for several minutes, mouth hanging open, paint dripping off my face and my hands, globs on the ceiling, the wall, my artwork, literally everything within a twelve foot radius.  Finally in a daze, I walked into the house, opened the door, and just stood in the doorway for another frozen moment of shock, while Jamie (my boyfriend) and our friend Zach stared at me horrified.  Zach immediately starts his "Hee..heee..heeeee....heeeeeee".  Jamie at least tries to sympathize between bouts of barely suppressed  laughter but finally he couldn't hold it in any longer, and they both just let loose with uninhibited glee.

Gee I'm so glad my misfortune is so entertaining.......  I got into the shower fully clothed and it took me a good 45 minutes to stop seeing cobalt blue swirling down the drain. 

So will  I just squeeze harder the next time there's a paint plug in my bottle?  Probably.  The lesson seems to have only penetrated the first inch of my four inch thick skull.

The voice inside my head says "Told you so....".   I say "Aw shuddup, you".  Not a fast learner.

Have a beautiful spring day  and Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Laurie

"Healing Energy" for Japan

"Healing Energy" by Primalpainter

"Healing Energy" is digital energy art created from my wall sculpture entitled "Clearing the Chaos".   I created it today in response to feeling helpless.  I held my intention steady on sending healing energy to all those affected by this terrible disaster during the entire creative process.  I don't know that it will help, but it sure doesn't hurt.

I need a break from the news, it's really starting to affect my energy level and mood.  My boyfriend has been watching the news nonstop, and I'm about ready to throw the tv (and maybe him) off the balcony.  I wouldn't do that, though, I like my Wednesday night shows, and he's the cook in the family, can't toss the cook off the balcony.

Desperate for a break from the whole end of the world, worst case scenario mentality, I found a couple of videos to lift the vibe a little.

Is it wrong that I find that hilarious?  Heheeeeheeeeeeeeeee!  I bet that lady's pissed that her son put that video on you tube.

How about another one......

That looks like fun.......It makes me imagine hopping around in a tuxedo at a serious cocktail party. lol

One more short one

lol

Ok, I feel a little better, have a great day!

Laurie

Thoughts on the Tsunami

"Tsunami" 

Digital Energy Art by Primalpainter

I know things happens, I know that, but the devastation and pain associated with this earthquake and tsunami are overwhelming.  I've been blocking it all out since I first heard about it until today and that dreaded moment when I sat down and actually looked at the images, listened to and read the stories and worst of all, allowed myself to feel the emotions of so many people grieving and in shock. 

Consequently, all day I've been in a deep depression, complete with overwhelming fatigue and a migraine,  and finally I just let myself cry it out and express that grief  (or at least some of it).  Being on the empathic side has its challenges.  With an individual it's tricky yet do-able to keep their emotions from affecting my mood.  Not so easy when it comes to millions of people feeling similar strong emotions, though. 

The collective consciousness of a large group of people is powerful.  It's like a tsunami of grief and fear, a heavy blanket of darkness.  Conversely, a large group of people feeling positive emotions and sending healing light can also be powerful.  Maybe that's what we should all be doing in whatever way we feel is right.

One  thing that's disturbing about not only this incident, but the whole gamut of crazy weather and earthquakes recently, is that December 21, 2012 is fast approaching.  Now I don't  believe that the world will come to an end on that day, but even if it's completely uneventful, the collective consciousness of billions of people with that expectation and fear could create it's own problems.  I imagine the grocery store shelves being empty and  no gas will be the least of our self-inflicted problems. I also suspect that the crazy weather and natural disasters will continue and maybe even get worse. 

I get a newsletter from a guy named Mitch Battros called Earth Changes, here's the link for his blog.   I don't really know if he's a kook or not, but I like to get a variety of viewpoints, then come to my own conclusions. Anyway, for the past couple of months, his newsletters have reported strong solar flares and other unusual solar activity that have triggered magnetic storms in the atmosphere.  He then follows up with  a warning to expect disruptive weather and earthquakes within the next 48 - 72 hours. I received his newsletter with news of violent solar activity shortly before this earthquake.  His warnings have been right on here lately.

Could there be a connection?  And when that alignment of the planets occurs in December 2012, which will happen based on scientific fact, will this trigger some huge magnetic shift that sets off  violent solar activity that then results in catastrophic events on earth?  We live in interesting times, but we must remember not to live in fear so as not to feed the beast. At the same time, it doesn't hurt to be aware of the possibilities.

Sorry to be a downer, but I yam who I yam and this is who I yam today.  I'll do something lighthearted tomorrow, I think I need it.

In Light,

Laurie

Third Chakra Rising

"Metamorphosis" by primalpainter 

Yesterday I was feeling kind of rebellious and my post was a little on the....shall we say.....unprofessional side.  I've never been known for having great timing, and of course I would have to choose the same day that Etsy artist  Sybillinart featured my third chakra painting "Fearless" on her blog which sent some people my way, and what do they see?  A monkey sticking a finger in his butt, smelling it and falling over backwards from the horrifying stench. (Good Gawd, my timing is horrible, still, though, that video is so hilarious.....heheeeee!)

Anyway, I'm sorry Sybillinart for that unfortunate timing and I'll make up for it today.

Sybillinart is a decoupage artist on Etsy. She has something for everyone in her shop from pendants to boxes, cards to wall decor, vases, journals, you name it.  She really made my day when she included my third chakra painting "Fearless" in an Etsy treasury within hours of me listing it on Etsy.  Then she bought it which sent me into a wild spree of happiness, confirming to me that working on my chakra paintings is the right thing to do.  Thank you for that Sybillinart!

I'm really honored that she did an Artist Feature about this painting on her blog Sybillin' Art News.  Go to her blog and check it out!  http://sybillinartnews.blogspot.com/2011/03/artist-feature.html    She even has a photo of it hanging on her wall right above her desk, which I thought was super cool.

For those who might be interested in the behind-the-scenes story concerning this painting, I did a couple of blog posts about it awhile back.  The first post is called "Third Chakra Issues" and chronicles the intention behind the painting and the emotional debris that emerged as I was working on it.

The second post is called "Fearless: Third Chakra" and shows the progression and visual evolution that took place from the first and second chakra paintings to the third and my thoughts on the process.

Thank you Sybillinart for including my painting "Fearless" in your world, I know it's found the perfect home!

In other news, I got my prints from http://www.adoramapix.com/  yesterday, and they were awesome!  I had them printed on this metallic paper that has some kind of subtle  pearlized metallic glow to it.  The colors are deep and rich, they're really beautiful.   They're small, though, 8" x 10", and I'm thinking I'd like some bigger ones, say 16" x 20". Maybe I should figure out what I'm going to do with them first....

I made and airbrushed a wooden frame for my first energy art creation that I  printed on my own printer and gave it to Andi for her 21st birthday.  She's my biggest fan, so I thought it would be appropriate to give her the first of something new that I'm starting.  I called it "The Beginning" and unbelievably forgot to get pictures of it. It turned out good and looks really nice hanging on a wall, though. 

Here's a picture of it without the frame, (the frame or maybe more appropriately the wood mat was 3" wide on all sides, 1/4" thick and painted with a gradation of turquoise and aqua to deep blue).



"The Beginning"

Well this is one gorgeous day, gotta get out there an enjoy it!   By the way, maybe we could all send some white light, prayers, healing thoughts and good energy to all those affected by this terrible tragedy in Japan.

Later,

Laurie

Professional? Me? LOLOLOL

I had a terrible nightmare last night, one of those where you wake up with a pounding heart, heavy breathing,and a generalized feeling of alarm (no, it wasn't a sex dream involving oompa loompas or scary clowns).

In my dream, my hair was really messy and I was wearing my usual  jeans so heavily covered with every hue of paint I own that they're really stiff, and I can only bend over  from the waist while keeping my legs straight. Then a disembodied voice, sounding suspiciously like Julia Child says "It would be-hoooooove you to present yourself in a more pro-fessh-ional manner." 

First of all, that voice......(shudder) and second of all,  who says behoove and what does it mean and third of all, professional? Me?   I've pondered the wisdom of this advice, so in an effort to present myself more professionally, I present you with this video:

Take that Julia Child.......How do you like me now!.

Rebelliously yours,

Laurie

Thursday's Random Ramble

This is a warped out digital abstraction taken from a photo of my orange second chakra painting.   I've decided I like it after a period of Yes? No? Yes? No? Ok ....yes. Sometimes I'll look at something I've created. and I'll like it for a minute, or maybe even for a few hours but then it's like my brain twists around, my eyes flip out and I'll start to hate it.  The creative mind is a strange one.   Below is a slightly different darker version.   I like it too, in some ways, even better than the one above.

What really sucks is when I like something I've made and declared "I'm finished!  Me likey",  then days or even weeks later, I look at it and say "Ewwwwwwww, I...... hate it!!!!!".  This is usually accompanied by my usual eye rolling, groaning, throwing my hands in the air, spinning around with copious amounts of hair tossing and acting generally overly dramatic.

Eventually I'll resign myself to the fact that what's done is done.   From that point on, though, I'll cast the occasional sideways glance at the offending piece (never a full frontal gaze ever again) with a look on my face that probably looked like the face I made yesterday when the bartender accidentally gave me a drink with grapefruit juice in it.  (Eeee-yuck...that's some sour sh#t,  grrr-ossss.).

 I survived my hour at the bar with Andi, by the way.  She ordered for both of us like some kind of pro.....(what the.....?)   It wasn't too horribly painful,  however, one drink and I promptly forgot my coat at the bar and almost forgot my purse at her friend's house.   Me no likey the alkee-hol..... I'm spacey enough as it is.

She was in a hurry to get back to Fayetteville so she could meet her friends for dinner, but I forced her to stay and have some cake.  I could have sworn we had candles but the only one I could find was a #7 candle which I found in the bottomless pit we call the junk drawer. I think it was from when she was 7 year old which would make it...what....14 years old? It looked like maybe a mouse had chewed part of the bottom off of it, but I pretended not to see that.   I brushed it off a little, stuck it in her cake deep enough to hide the chewed off end,  told her to make a wish and blow it out.

I wonder if she wished for a normal mother?  lol

Have a good one!

Laurie

My Freak Out Moment Over Andi's 21st Birthday

 

Today is my daughter Andi's 21st birthday.  Good..........GAWD!!!!!!!!!  Am I freaking out?  YEESSSS!!!!  She's an adult now, I tell myself, but dangit, that doesn't mean that I have to treat her like an adult (said with great defiance).  Or does it.... (said with a moan superimposed with a whine). Craaaapp.

I suppose I'll have to face the music when we go out this afternoon and I buy her a drink.....in a bar.......and watch her drink it.......  (Oh, I  had a stomach heaving moment there.)  As I stare into space with a daydreamy look on my face,  I think "Maybe it would help if I drank a few shots of whatever liquor they serve these days to dull this disturbing moment."  As the fantasy proceeds, I see myself being carried home in a drunken stupor mumbling  "My daugher's 21 and I'm old,  my daughter's 21 and I'm old....."

At least it isn't as bad as when I dropped her off at college a couple of years ago. That little incident was freakin' traumatic, TRAUMATIC I tell ya.   I acted out quite a bit after she moved away but thankfully nobody was killed, injured or emotionally crippled during my empty nest  period of psychosis.  I won't go into the sordid details..........

Seriously though, without all my drama queen antics, I'm really proud of her.  She's way smarter than I was at her age.  (Well, except in the area of handling money which again, I won't go into the sordid details.)  She works really hard and alot (she makes more money than I do, how disturbing is that?), supports herself, is bright and goes to college, works out all the time, has lots of friends, a good boyfriend (that I haven't met yet), she's got a good head on her shoulders and seems to learn her life lessons much faster than I ever did (except when it comes to money....ack!), she's a talented artist and writer, she's courageous and adventurous, she's pretty and has loads of self respect and self confidence, she has integrity and knows right from wrong, she's my biggest fan and I'm hers. 

Awwwwwww, ok I feel better.  Maybe I just needed to write it all down and see it in black and white to realize that I don't have anything to worry about.  After all,  she's most definitely smarter and more together than I was at her age and I turned out ok, (although there might be some debate about just how well I turned out. lol). 

When I was her age, I was a......well..........I won't go into the sordid details.

Later on,

Laurie