The Violet Flame

"The Violet Flame" by Primal Painter

This is my latest Energy Art print entitled "The Violet Flame". The violet flame is also called the flame of transmutation, freedom and forgiveness.. I really  like this one,  but then I say that about almost every new print I come up with.  This one came about after I saw the Dalai Lama last week and he was talking about forgiveness. 

Forgiveness.....sounds so easy but for me is so hard.  I thought to myself  "What the...? Why, why is it so freakin' hard to forgive those mean people and circumstances that are ancient history but the scenario continues to play out in my brain?"  Can anyone relate to this or is this just something I do?  

Mostly what I'm having problems with are scenarios where I see myself as having been victimized in some way. I can say the words "I forgive you".....nuthin'......I can cut the energetic cords to the people and situations involved.....nuthin'......I can put a shield around myself so those cords don't re-attach....nuthin'... 

I was driving to Fayetteville the other day, and here comes some re-runs that trigger a flare of anger.  I decided to thank the Universe for having me live through these scenes of victimization, acknowledged that I still feel the anger, and envisioned the image above, "The Violet Flame",  as taking in that anger and burning it up, transforming it into forgiveness and compassion.

Within two seconds of envisioning the Violet Flame,  I let out a howl of emotional pain. Vague flashes of faces and feelings were going through my mind.  I had to pull off the road and had a full-on meltdown of crying, whining and sobbing, strange noises that I can't even describe... good grief, you'd think I was being tortured.  Then it was over....gone.  That night, I had a dream that I was in a pleasant social situation with a few of the  people who had hurt me in the past.  Interesting....

This release didn't cover everyone, unfortunately, but at least it's a start.  Also, I can clearly see that what's under the anger and resentment is pain.  I suppose now I have to keep doing it until all of it's gone. Gah....always some kind of uncomfortable internal work to do....

I notice that the place I feel the constriction and blockage in my body is in my throat and neck.  My throat chakra might be more damaged than I'd thought.  It's probably an ongoing thing that goes way back, but I wonder if it has something to do with when I was attacked and raped. The fat end of a glass bottle was rammed down my throat, and I couldn't scream.  Strangely, I couldn't scream even before the bottle was down my throat. It was like a nightmare....And I haven't really told the whole story, it's like a deep shameful secret.

I wonder if I need to tell that story.  I just don't know if this blogging situation is the appropriate venue for it.  I hate to think that something I've written has caused anyone to feel down or to feel sorry for me or anything of a negative nature. I'd rather make people smile and this story is very disturbing, yet it's also a story of survival and a slow motion journey to healing. I don't know, what do you think?

For some good news, Pixie Campbell, a fab Etsy artist and writer included "The Violet Flame" in her blog post the other day. I was stoked! Check it out:  http://pixiecampbell.typepad.com/pink_coyote/2011/05/terra-incognita.html  Within 24 hours of posting The Violet Flame in my Etsy Shop,  I sold two prints, so that was super cool!  Sometimes an image just resonates...

It's not raining today (yet).  It's like living in a rain forest around here lately! I love rain forests, but oh how I miss my beloved sun and all the damage it does to my skin!

Have a good one!

Laurie